My archive of original poems written by me over the years.  I must confess Edgar Allen Poe is one of my favorites for his iambic pentameter and use of language.  I envy his internal rhyme schemes within phrases.  I can only hope to achieve such precision someday.  Without further ado, let me begin with this as my poetic introduction….

“I’ve seen beauty heaven could not create and been
so low the depths of hell seemed like club med.
And I’ve come to know that one truth exists amongst men….
We all bleed red.  Made of the same flesh and bone.
We are all in search of the same goal…. HAPPINESS.
The only difference between us all is our definition of the term. “

-2006 –

Past the garden gate leading down the winding path,
through my enigmatic spiral labyrinth,
no one knows where it leads and ends my friends.
So fasten your seat belts, let our journey commence.
Through fantasy and reality.
Do any lines truly exist
or was it all just a figment of our imagination?
The line between still lies unclear,
Especially to me.

-2006-

poem-garden.jpg

“Tides”

People come in and out of our lives
just like the tides fall on the sand
I’ve never been good at saying goodbye,
probably won’t ever be unfortunately,
instead of feeling sad i should be glad
for the imprint they left behind,
and for the time we spent instead,
of cursing their name filled with regret.

Why do I always forget that right behind
the one that left is a new wave for me to ride?
There are so many shores for me to experience
my life is only beginning again after the fire
which purged me of everything I held dear,
yet in a way despite the pain cleansed me
just like my tears as they stream down my cheeks.
cause i wouldn’t be the person i am today,
without this collage of triumphs and stumbles,
some self inflicted, others by accident, coincidence
or simply by being stubborn and preserving….
doesn’t matter the outcome is still the same.

The universe has a funny way about things,
how the puzzle pieces just fall in place
when they’re meant to, not when i demand it,
so why do i insist on making things difficult,
when what I need always appears…
maybe not in the package I expected
or how i wanted it to be exactly
but right on time never the less.

-2007
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“Game Face”

I’m so tired of being chased
just because i own a pretty face
for what to be locked away
inside a cage? no thanks!
so on through an endless maze I race
just like a cat and mouse chase
despite my protests or complaints
deep down inside my soul and chest
long for a place to rest my head in peace
maybe even call home someday..
wonder what it’d be like to give my heart away
IF ONLY THEY DIDN’T TRY TO CONTROL ME
maybe then I’D find my one & only…
why does MAN seek to control
what they can’t understand?
i ain’t a canary you can domesticate
display cases are for trophies little boy,
can’t put me in one, I’ll escape eventually
despite the game face i portray,
or how tough i behave,
pretend what they say
doesn’t affect me,
spit in their faces
keep throwing lemons
I’ll find tequila and a blender.
I’ve grown tired of putting on my game face.
underneath this cool calm collected coat
I’m just an insecure ball of fur
in search of what everyone else is looking for…

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“Madhatter”

I’m frequently misunderstood,
with more squares than a rubix cube.
I’m simple but complex,
not what you’d expect.
Stop trying to put me inside a box.
There is not a word inside,
the English language to define me.
I’m not constrained by convention,
The struggle is what made me.
I live my life the way i chose,
not by rules imposed on by you.
Be my guest and play it safe,
spend your life in one place.
When there is so much more
in this life to be seen.

I want to learn how far
does the rabbit hole go
After all I’m later than the rabbit,
more elusive than Cheshire,
with more hats than the mad hatter.
Just because I look like Alice,
doesn’t mean I want to be like her.
My power lies in the fact
people underestimate me.
I strive to be extraordinary not typical.
I refuse to apologize for
not being one of the sheep.
You’re the one enslaved
by popular belief.
Not me.

Happily ever after is flawed
nothing is ever what it seems
trust and believe
there are many sides to me
I’ve got more depth than
the ocean or sea.
Do not doubt my heart’s
loyalty or devotion
just because i am broken
I’m still capable of emotion

my past has forged me
but it doesn’t define me
i am no slave to circumstance
i chose my master
submission is a gift
because i want to please you
don’t mistake this for weakness
underneath I’m still a lioness
there’s nothing meek about me
I’ll pounce when necessary
i don’t leave things to fate
i create my own destiny
life is what one makes of it.

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“Freedom within submission”

A man dominates a woman only because she loves to be his slave,
the catalyst that caused his eyes to roll back into his head,
as she’s on her knees before her chosen master,
smiling like a cat who ate the canary and got away with it for once.
she is worshiped by he who holds the keys to her kingdom
and in a sense within her submission has total freedom
although she gives into his wishes time and again,
she is in fact his queen and mistress everything his needs
while he completes her, gives her the sense of security
she deeply seeks and her only desire is to please him
for to disappoint her master would bring her to tears
she needs his approval like one needs air to breath
and if he ever abandoned her she would never be the same.

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“Broken”

Trepidation fills my heart with fears
causes me to hesitate and question
am I setting myself up to fail again?
Never been one to look before I leap
but the damage he left is too great
last broke my heart without regret
hate to admit but he left a deep scar
never been insecure or unsure before
everything he said was a contradiction
Don’t want to trust my own instincts.
The illusion always shatters in pieces
shards too small to put back together
but sharp enough to cut my feet deep.
wish I could press rewind and erase
the pain, ease my state of confusion
all alone to pick up what’s left of me
replace memories with my imagination.

paradox

“Silence fills my mind”

can’t find the words to describe how i feel inside
now that you’ve left and said goodbye
Words you said became lies
2 days ago you swore
i was everything you needed and more
then how can you walk out the door?
pretend i don’t exist anymore?

still silence fills my mind
no answer can i find….
silence fills my mind
why do you insist on being unkind?

The look in your eyes,
as your words echo inside
still haunt me day and night
Wonder where did I turn left
instead of right and how do I get back there?

still silence fills my mind
no answer can i find….
silence fills my mind
why do you insist on being unkind?

can’t find the words to describe how i feel inside
now that you’ve left and said goodbye
Words you said became lies
2 days ago you swore
i was everything you needed and more

-2007

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